Terrible First Impressions
by Desbelleschoses
Summary: Tenzo needs to make some new friends outside the Foundation. Kakashi makes the mistake of bringing him along to one of Anko's parties. Kakashi ANBU era. KakaYama. Part 1 of Unofficial Rulebook for Reckless Ninja series.


Kakashi knew he'd been avoiding his friends, but his job had to come first. At least, that was what he told himself. None of them knew about his trauma, about how it manifested in nightmares and obsessive hand washing. No one, except Tenzo, that is. The pair had been on enough solo missions for his kouhai to pick up on his triggers; they had yet to have a conversation about it, but Tenzo was conscientious enough to accommodate him. Despite his efforts, his kindness wounded Kakashi's pride.

It had been days since he'd spoken to Tenzo, who caught him scrubbing his hands until his knuckles bled. Their heated argument played out in the ANBU locker room, which was, thankfully, empty so late at night. Both men parted ways furious with the other. A single text message from Kakashi sat unread on Tenzo's phone; if his senpai had something to say to him, he could come say it in person.

Tenzo balled his dishcloth in his hand and wiped the wet surface of his plate, busying himself with menial tasks to keep himself occupied. The breaks between missions allowed him to take care of everything in his flat that needed doing, and tonight was no different. A gust of wind blew in from the window, tossing his long hair into his face. The ANBU agent sputtered, using his forearm to push his hair back.

With a start, he realized that he hadn't opened his window. He spun on his heel, somehow unsurprised to see his senpai squatting in the window frame. Kakashi raised his hand and offered him a "Yo."

Unable to think of anything else to say, Tenzo settled for "I have a door."

Kakashi made a noise of affirmation as he stepped down off the ledge and into Tenzo's flat. He was wearing a baggy, zip-up hoodie over his masked undershirt, and he was clad in a simple pair of jeans and sneakers. It was an unusual look on him. He stuck his hands in his pockets as he walked forward from the window. "You never told me if you wanted to go or not."

"Go where?" Tenzo asked, setting the plate and rag on his kitchen counter.

"Anko's?" Kakashi paused, looking for recognition. "Remember, I texted you that my friends were getting together? I asked if you wanted to come? Said you need to meet some people that aren't Foundation?"

Tenzo feigned understanding. "I forgot," he lied, unsure if Kakashi believed him.

"Well? You coming?"

"Uh, yeah. Sure. Just give me a minute." Tenzo bustled around his flat, finding an acceptable change of clothes in an old tee-shirt Kakashi had given him when he outgrew it. He'd complimented it a few times, and his senpai assumed he would want it. It was a nice shirt; it was a deep green color, soft from wear, with a v-collar. Although he hadn't meant to imply that he wanted it, it had quickly become a favorite. He decided to stay with his comfortable black pants, and he grabbed a hoodie, judging the temperature from the open window. When he gathered all his hair back out of the hoodie, he declared, "Let's go."

Kakashi stood up from his seat at the foot of Tenzo's bed and slid the window shut. "You should really keep this locked," he commented off-handedly before following his kouhai out the front door.

* * *

"Yeah, well, Shiranui? Let me tell you where you can stick that senbon-" Anko's voice threatened from the other side of the door. As she opened it, she continued to scowl over her shoulder at Genma, who was laughing riotously. "Choke on it, you son-of-a- Kakashi!" Her eyes lit up when she realized who was standing on the other side of her door. "You actually showed up! I'll be damned. Come on in!"

Kakashi did as he was told, and Tenzo hung awkwardly behind like a shadow. He'd assumed that Kakashi's friends would be like him, but it seemed he was wrong. Anko had rejoined the small group, which sat in a circle on the living room floor; it was the only space that could accommodate all of them. Tenzo took a quick glance at the faces, wondering if any of them would be familiar.

A black-haired man with little more than a 5'o'clock shadow had his arm draped across the shoulders of a red-eyed woman, whose head rested against the fur collar of the man's coat. To the woman's left sat their hostess, who was dressed in black shorts and a crop-top over a mesh body suit; Tenzo wondered at this, but had a feeling he wouldn't get an explanation. Beside her, the young man with a senbon between his teeth flicked it up and down tauntingly in her direction.

The last member of the group, a tall, lean man in a… uniquely green body suit, stood up and threw an arm around Kakashi's shoulders, pulling him to the circle. "We've missed you, Kakashi! I was starting to think you were avoiding me."

Kakashi allowed himself to be forced to sit, leaving Tenzo an open space to his right and the senbon user's left. He ducked out from underneath his friend's arm and went around the circle, indicating each ninja in turn. "This is Guy, Asuma, Kurenai, Anko, and Genma. Everyone, this is Tenzo. He's my kouhai in the ANBU."

"It's nice to meet you," the red-eyed woman – Kurenai, he reminded himself – smiled at him. Tenzo, a little overwhelmed, gave an awkward wave to the group of people looking at him.

Anko reached behind Genma and pulled two beers from the cooler, handing one to Kakashi and one to Tenzo. Tenzo eyed it with suspicion, admitting "I'm not twenty."

"Half of us aren't, either," Genma informed him.

"No, I mean, I'm sixteen."

"Relax," Anko prompted. "No one's gonna tell." She sealed her promise with a dramatic wink.

Tenzo looked over to Kakashi, who had pulled his mask down below his chin and had the bottle to his lips. Noticing his kouhai, Kakashi lifted his bottle in Tenzo's direction, giving him a smile with closed eyes as a sign of his approval.

Tenzo nodded. "Okay."

"Let's get started, shall we?" Guy boomed with enthusiasm. Clearly, Kakashi and Tenzo showed up late and the others had decided to start without them.

Asuma used his free hand to finish the last of his bottle and handed it to Kurenai. She leaned forward and set it in the middle of the circle on its side. With a flick of her wrist, she sent it spinning. When it came to a stop, it pointed right at Anko.

Anko considered her options before saying "Truth," holding out her arms as if to tell Kurenai to do her worst.

"Name your sex tape."

Anko smiled like the devil. "Which one?" She waited until the laughter and 'ooooh's calmed down, waving her hand dismissively. "I'm joking," she insisted, although it wasn't clear if she was being truthful. "Okay, let me think. This is harder than I thought."

" _This is Harder than I Thought!"_ Genma exclaimed.

"I can work with that." Anko shrugged.

" _I Can Work with That_." Genma grinned, flicking his senbon with his tongue.

Anko gave him a shove before reaching out and giving the bottle a spin. She smirked when it pointed to Tenzo. Before she could ask, Kakashi spoke up, drawing her attention. "Easy, Anko. He's not used to you, and we haven't had half as much to drink."

"Then chug," Anko retorted slyly. "Fine, we'll start him off easy. Truth or dare, Tenzo?"

"Truth?" His wide eyes flickered with hesitation, unsure what to expect.

"What do you like? Guys, girls, both?" Her ulterior motive was clear. If she could gain some basic information on their newest member, things could be made interesting in later rounds.

"Mm." Tenzo waited a moment before answering, deciding to be honest. "I'm gay," he admitted. To his surprise and relief, there was almost no reaction from the group.

"Cool." Anko smiled at him, gesturing to the bottle. "Your turn."

Catching on, Tenzo did as he was told. Guy beamed at him when he was chosen, not bothering to wait for Tenzo to ask. "Dare," he decided, to the horror of his friends.

Kakashi leaned closer to his kouhai, murmuring "Tenzo-"

Eager to be a part of the activity, Tenzo decided on the most outrageous dare he could think of. "I dare you to streak."

Kakashi groaned, his head falling forward as Guy jumped to his feet. "How many laps?" Guy inquired.

"None!" Asuma shouted, trying to regain control of the situation.

"Nine! Got it!"

Kakashi covered his face with his hands. "Oh, Tenzo, no."

"Guy!" Anko rushed after him, her fingers barely missing the fabric on his back. "Son of a _bitch!_ "

Genma passed Tenzo an unopened bottle. "You're gonna want this. Trust me."

Tenzo was frozen among the looks of disapproval he was given from his peers. He didn't understand what had just happened. Kakashi's hand came to rest on his shoulder, and he focused on his senpai.

"You can't say things like that to Guy," Kakashi explained. "He takes everything as a challenge. He will do _anything_. We gave up on finding his limit a long time ago."

"So he's-"

"Running around the village nine times with his bare ass to the wind?" Anko finished for him, speaking from her porch. "You know it. At least he's fast; you can hardly see him."

"I said 'none,' right? Not 'nine?'" Asuma asked Kurenai, making sure he wasn't crazy.

"Yeah…" Kurenai sighed, patting his chest.

Anko shut her front door and rejoined the group with a huff of exasperation. "He'll get back when he wants to. Let's just skip him."

Genma volunteered and spun, smirking when it pointed out Asuma. "Well?"

"Dare," Asuma decided, trying to make things a little fun.

"Go hide Guy's clothes." Genma couldn't get through his sentence without snorting.

"Man, no one wants to see that," Asuma protested as he moved his arm away from Kurenai. "I'll do it, but I'm leaving him a towel."

"Not one of mine, you're not, Sarutobi." Anko narrowed her eyes.

"Here." Tenzo grabbed the hem of his sweatshirt and pulled it over his head, straightening his shirt before passing the article to Asuma. "It's my fault, anyway."

Asuma grinned and clapped Tenzo on the back as he passed. "You're a good man, my friend." He returned in a matter of seconds and stuffed Guy's clothing underneath the couch, out of sight.

Two more rounds passed before Guy tapped on the window, beckoning Kakashi over. The way he was pointing made it clear that he only wanted Kakashi. Genma bit back a laugh as the white-haired ninja stood and walked through the circle to open the window. Guy whispered hurriedly for a moment. When he stopped, Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "No."

Guy mumbled, urgency in his tone.

"I don't care if you're my best friend, Guy. I'm not giving you my pants."

By this time, everyone in the living room was watching the scene unfold.

"No, I don't know what happened to them."

"Come on!" Guy exclaimed. "This isn't funny. Asuma, help me out."

"Not giving you my pants, either, buddy." Asuma did his best to hide a smirk.

"Where are my clothes, guys? Genma? Tenzo?" In an act of desperation, Guy turned to his newest acquaintance, hoping he would be the weakest link.

"Seeing as that's my sweatshirt, I think I've allowed you to defile enough of my clothing," Tenzo quipped, much to Anko's amusement.

Kurenai took pity on Guy, and, despite Asuma's disappointment, grabbed the poor man's clothes from their hiding space. She stood up and handed them to Guy, whose eyes were watering like he'd just been blessed by an angel. He returned, fully clothed, to the circle, tossing Tenzo's hoodie aside when he refused to accept it.

"My turn," Guy stated, determined to get his chance to pay his friends back. He completed his task, so there wasn't anything the group could say to stop him. With more force than necessary, he spun the bottle, following it to see where it would land.

* * *

The more inebriated they became, the more the group was willing to admit during their turns. Anko declared that she'd be willing to have a threesome with Asuma and Kurenai, citing her pansexuality without being prompted. Asuma had been dared to steal his father's headdress, which was easy enough for him to do at his own home. He wore it on his head, lopsided, demanding that everyone refer to him as 'Lord Fifth.'

Kakashi read aloud a page from the latest _Icha Icha_ novel he had stuffed in his pack, putting on his best impression of Jiraiya as he did so. It left the group in stitches while also making them mildly uncomfortable, which seemed to be the theme of the evening. Kurenai revealed that she and Asuma definitely got down and dirty in the hokage's office, at which Asuma grinned pervertedly.

They'd given up on the randomness of the bottle, and their victims were now hand-chosen. This led to some pointed truths and risqué dares that, hopefully, none of them would remember the next day. When it was Guy's turn to choose, his eyes darkened mischievously as he turned to his side. "Kakashi," he declared, clearly waiting for his chance ever since he returned. "Truth or dare?"

Kakashi looked his friend in the eye. There was no way of knowing what Guy would come up with. He decided that taking a dare would be the safest route, and, from the look on Guy's face, he made the right decision. "Dare."

Guy took a second to think before giving an evil grin. "Strip."

"Excuse me?"

"Get up on that table and strip."

"Is this because I didn't give you my pants?"

"Who cares!" Anko exclaimed. "Just do what the man says!"

Realizing he had no choice, Kakashi drained the last of his bottle before subjecting himself to the torment of his friends. Genma, for good measure, stuck his senbon behind his ear and put his hands to his mouth, making percussive sounds in a surprisingly even beat.

Once he steadied himself enough to stand on the coffee table, Kakashi began to unzip his hoodie, at which Asuma inserted his fingers into his mouth and gave a whistle before laughing. It was then that Kakashi decided that, if he had to go through with this, he might as well have some fun with it.

Dramatically, he shrugged the jacket off his shoulders and allowed it to gather at his elbows, swaying his hips as he did so. Anko let out a hoot, clapping a few times to encourage him. He struck a pose and let gravity do the work for him as his jacket fell onto the table. He kicked it out of the way, thinking clearly enough to remove the hazard.

"Go, Kakashi!" Kurenai shouted, entertained with how her friend seemed to be enjoying the attention.

Kakashi knew from experience that there was no way to look sexy when removing his undershirt, but he did the best he could given the circumstances. He tossed the lightweight fabric into his small crowd, earning a laugh from Guy, who caught it.

Anko had become distracted from the scene by Tenzo, who hadn't made a sound, let alone a playful jeer, since the whole thing started. He was watching Kakashi with wide eyes, and his cheeks were flushed a light shade of red. She wasn't entirely sure he was breathing, which caused her some worry.

Tenzo's heart stopped when Kakashi winked and flashed a smile. For a fraction of a second, he was convinced he was having a heart attack. He remembered to breathe, and his heart's rhythm came back to a regular, albeit fast, pace.

Seeing her opportunity to cause a little mayhem, Anko cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted, "Take it off!"

Getting his pants off was much more of a challenge than his jacket or shirt had been. Frustrated with the sudden difficulty, Kakashi tried to use his feet to help get them off once he got them down to his knees. He overestimated his ability to balance, and, as soon as he shifted his weight to his left leg, he careened off the table.

Tenzo could only watch as Kakashi crashed into him, their foreheads cracking painfully together. Kakashi rolled to the side, his hands on his forehead, groaning "Mother _fucker_ that hurts!"

Knocked onto his back, Tenzo didn't bother trying to sit up. His eyes focused on the ceiling as he tried to make sense of the last several minutes of his life. His head pounded dully, but he didn't care. This was all some sort of twisted nightmare, anyway.

"Easy does it," Kurenai coaxed Kakashi into a sitting position and moved his hands from his face. "You're gonna bruise, but you're fine, otherwise."

"C'mon." Anko grabbed Tenzo's hand and pulled him back up.

"Pants up, Kakashi," Kurenai tried to help him, but he shooed her away, clearly embarrassed by his fall.

"I'm drunk, not stupid," he grumbled. Half-dressed, he took his undershirt and jacket from Guy, who had brought them over. He glanced over at Tenzo, who was rubbing his forehead. "Sorry."

"It's okay, Senpai," Tenzo assured him. "It happens… I guess?"

"Okay, no climbing on furniture after the third drink," Kurenai declared. "That's going in the rulebook."

Genma took his senbon and placed it back between his lips. "So does this mean we're done here, or…?"

"I'm still game," Anko declared.

"Sure," Asuma spoke for himself and Kurenai.

Tenzo looked over at Kakashi, waiting for him to respond. He was the one to bring him, after all.

"Yeah, why not?" Kakashi shrugged, deciding that they'd probably reached the peak of their night. At this point, it would be safer to stay at Anko's than to find his way home, anyway.

Guy grinned at Kakashi, giving him a thumbs-up. "You're up, then, Kakashi."

Kakashi abandoned his undershirt, settling for pulling on his sweatshirt, leaving it unzipped. At least, now, he was decent. The way his head was pounding, he didn't want to deal with anything unnecessary. "Someone else can take my turn," he decided.

"I'll take it!" Anko jumped at the chance a little too quickly. "Tenzo hasn't gone in a while. Truth or dare?"

Deciding that nothing could be worse than Kakashi's dare, Tenzo considered himself safe. "Dare, I guess?"

Anko smirked. "Kiss Kakashi." See? Who said she couldn't be a good person?

"Truth?"

Genma snickered. "Doesn't work that way."

Tenzo felt like the color was draining from his face at the same time he knew he was blushing. He looked at Kakashi, unable to read his expression. Now that he could see the lower half of his face, it was difficult for Tenzo to understand him just by his eyes. He could use the pieces, but he couldn't put them together.

"Oh, for fuck's sake." Kakashi reached out and caught him, one hand on his jaw and the other at the back of his neck. Tenzo nearly fell forward when he was pulled swiftly in, where Kakashi's lips met his own. It was far from the chaste peck that he'd planned; the man refused to let him go.

Either Kakashi had gone deaf or he didn't care when his friend erupted into raucous cheers. "Get it, Tenzo!" Kurenai shouted, thoroughly pleased with the result. Hopefully this would kill any lingering tension from Kakashi's last dare.

When the two broke apart, Guy gave a low whistle. Kakashi seemed more than pleased that he'd given up his turn. "Alright, then. Tenzo? You ok to take your turn?"

The ANBU agent nodded. "Kakashi?"

"Dare."

"Do it again."

"Hey! Not in my _living room_!" Anko used her fingers to flick water at the pair, trying to bring them back to reality. "Kakashi! Down! I swear to god, I'll separate you."

Kakashi gave his friend a lewd gesture, but he did as he was told. Anko pointed at Asuma and Kurenai, who were minding their own business. "You see them? I don't have to pull Kurenai off of Asuma's lap, do I?" She clapped her hands for emphasis between each word, trying to get Kakashi's inebriated mind to understand. "No. Sexual. Tension. In. My. Fucking. Living. Room!" She narrowed her eyes, focusing solely on Kakashi. Somehow, Tenzo had avoided her wrath. "Now, behave, or I'll put you outside."

"You know, you kinda started it," Genma pointed out, dodging a swing of her fist.

"I was trying to be _helpful!_ " Anko snapped.

"Oh, you were." Genma chuckled, enjoying her suffering. "Very helpful, in fact."

"Genma?"

"Hm?"

"Get the fuck out of my house."


End file.
